Video game addiction in teenagers: a guide for families

Video games are part of the everyday leisure of most adolescents. Playing, in itself, is not a problem: it can be a source of fun, socialising and even learning. However, for some young people, gaming stops being a pastime and becomes the centre of their life, displacing studies, relationships, rest and other activities. When this happens, we speak of video game addiction, a problem of growing concern to families that is worth knowing how to recognise and address calmly.

This guide is intended for parents and relatives who want to understand what is happening, distinguish between heavy use and an addiction, and know how to support an adolescent who may be developing a dependence on gaming.

Video game addiction in adolescents: a guide for families

The first thing worth clarifying is that the vast majority of adolescents who play video games do not develop any addiction. Playing a lot, or devoting a fair amount of time to it, does not automatically equate to having a problem. Addiction is defined by the loss of control over gaming and by the negative consequences it causes in the adolescent's life, not simply by the number of hours.

The scientific community recognises gaming disorder as a clinical reality when gaming becomes the absolute priority, control over it is lost, and it is maintained or even increased despite harmful consequences, over a prolonged period of time. The key, therefore, lies not so much in how much the adolescent plays as in what place gaming occupies in their life and how it affects the rest of the important areas.

Understanding this distinction avoids two common mistakes: on the one hand, becoming overly alarmed by normal, age-appropriate use; on the other, playing down signs that do indicate a real problem. The aim for families is not to demonise video games, but to observe with judgement and act when necessary.

Why some video games are so addictive

Many current video games are designed with mechanisms that encourage prolonged play and continual return. Reward systems, levels to be overcome, items to be unlocked, daily missions and rankings activate the brain's reward system and keep the player hooked. The sense of constant progress and the pursuit of achievements generate a satisfaction that invites you to keep playing.

The social component is especially relevant in adolescence. Many games are online and allow players to play with friends or with other people around the world, form teams and belong to communities. For an adolescent, stopping playing can mean being left out of the group, losing status or letting down teammates, which adds significant social pressure that makes it hard to set limits.

In addition, video games can act as a means of escape. Faced with the difficulties typical of their age, such as conflicts, insecurity, academic stress or relationship problems, gaming offers a world where the adolescent feels competent, valued and in control. When gaming becomes the main refuge from distress, the risk of dependence increases, because it fulfils an emotional function that goes beyond simple entertainment.

Warning signs that families should know

Distinguishing heavy but healthy use from an addiction requires attention. These are some signs that may indicate that gaming is becoming a problem.

• Gaming becomes the absolute priority, above studies, friends, sport or family activities.
• Loss of interest in other hobbies previously enjoyed.
• Intense reactions of irritability, anger or anxiety when asked to stop playing or when unable to play.
• Sleep disturbances from playing until late at night, with the resulting tiredness and poor performance during the day.
• Declining academic performance and neglect of responsibilities.
• Social isolation, with a reduction in in-person relationships in favour of gaming.
• Lying about the time spent playing or playing in secret.
• Using gaming to escape negative emotions or problems.
• Failed attempts to reduce gaming time.

When several of these signs appear in a sustained way and gaming clearly interferes with the adolescent's life, it is time to act and, if necessary, to seek professional support.

What families can do

The role of the family is fundamental, both in preventing and in addressing the problem. The way of supporting makes a great difference. These guidelines can help.

Keep the dialogue open and avoid confrontation

Direct confrontation, abrupt bans and punishments tend to generate rejection and increase conflict, above all in adolescence. It is far more effective to maintain open communication, take an interest in what they play, understand what video games give them and express concern from a place of affection rather than imposition. Feeling listened to and not judged makes it easier for the adolescent to open up and cooperate.

Set clear, agreed limits

Limits are necessary, but they work better when they are agreed than when they are imposed unilaterally. Setting schedules, screen-free zones such as the bedroom or the table during meals, and specific times for gaming helps to structure its use. It is important that these rules are consistent and are maintained with both firmness and flexibility.

Encourage attractive alternatives

Reducing gaming time works better when it is replaced with other rewarding activities: sport, hobbies, plans with friends, family time. Offering attractive alternatives, rather than simply taking things away, helps fill the gap left by gaming and diversify the sources of satisfaction.

Lead by example

Adolescents learn by observing. A family environment in which adults also make balanced use of screens and devote time to other activities conveys a far more convincing model than any rule.

Looking beyond the game

A key aspect that families should bear in mind is that video game addiction, frequently, is not only a gaming problem. In many cases, excessive use is a way of coping with difficulties that lie beneath: anxiety, low self-esteem, relationship problems, academic difficulties, a sense of loneliness or emotional distress. Gaming becomes a refuge where the adolescent finds the wellbeing, control and recognition they lack in other areas.

For this reason, addressing only the gaming time is usually insufficient if what feeds it is not also attended to. Asking what need gaming is meeting and what may be happening in the adolescent's life is essential in order to truly help them. Often, when those underlying difficulties are addressed, the problem with video games naturally diminishes.

When to seek professional help

When gaming addiction seriously interferes with the adolescent's life, when family conflict has intensified, when signs of significant emotional distress appear, or when the family's attempts to set limits do not work, it is advisable to seek professional support. Early intervention greatly facilitates recovery and prevents the problem from becoming chronic.

Professional treatment works on both the gaming behaviour and the emotional and family difficulties that sustain it. The adolescent is helped to regain control, to develop other ways of managing their emotions and to rebuild the areas of their life that have been affected. Support for the family is also an essential part of the process, because the environment plays a decisive role in recovery.

Telling a healthy hobby apart from a problem

One of the greatest difficulties for families is distinguishing between an adolescent who is keen on video games, who plays a lot but in a healthy way, and one who is developing an addiction. This distinction is important in order neither to generate unnecessary conflicts nor, on the contrary, to minimise a real problem. The key, as noted, lies not in the number of hours but in the overall balance of the adolescent's life.

An adolescent with a healthy hobby, however much they play, keeps other areas of their life running: they meet their academic responsibilities, maintain friendships and activities outside gaming, rest reasonably, enjoy other plans and are able to stop playing when necessary without this triggering a disproportionate reaction. Gaming is an important part of their leisure, but not the only one, and it does not displace the rest of the dimensions of their life.

By contrast, when gaming becomes the absolute priority, when it displaces studies, relationships and rest, when it generates isolation and intense reactions to limiting it, and when the adolescent loses control over the time they devote to it, we are no longer talking about a hobby but about a problem. Observing this overall balance, rather than focusing solely on the hours, is the best way to assess the situation with judgement and to decide whether it is necessary to seek help.

If you are a parent or relative of an adolescent who is developing a problematic relationship with video games and you do not know how to act, remember that asking for help is a sign of responsibility and care. At Reconectar, in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, we offer outpatient, individual and confidential treatment for behavioural addictions in adolescents, with a personalised approach that includes support for families. We work on both the gaming and what lies behind it, helping the adolescent and their environment to reconnect and regain balance. If you need it, we will be glad to support you along this path.